Crossing rivers

Say a prayer for a poet
whose heart turned cold
once she kissed with warmth
now she'll leave a frostbite on your soul

Say a prayer for a poet
Once she loved with a fire that scared demons out of hell
Now, she has frozen hearts in the chapters of her life

To sit next to you, oh my love, my all! I feel like a child
So am here asking myself - 'Do I have what it takes?'
Tell me my darling...
Will you take me broken?

Say a prayer for this poet
Namatsi

Falling

You must be the devil
As beautiful as you are... you must be pure temptation
You must have a voice that can only order heavens to sing 
You must have a power that make God give man free will
You must be poison, if I choose you I die, if I don't I am sick
You must be the devil

© Namatsi Lukoye

Bury My heart inside a prayer (struggling with depression)

I died last night... I watched my soul walk out and leave
my heart stopped... beating
my body stopped breathing...
because I stopped loving... me...
I died last night my body gave up the fight...
but I didn't curse the sky when it stared back
I actually smiled and laughed out loud
I died alone amidst joys and celebration
with nothing but so much self hate inside me...
So bury my heart in the warmth of your palms
When they meet... as you whisper a prayer
Bury me inside your words... floating to the sky
before my words spark the flames of hell
for the pain that I feel
Like bullet holes or acids burns from a once time lover
The pain of hating myself like I do!
the pain of fighting with myself
wondering how to stand again…
how to be free of anger and how to live again
Damn I owe myself an apology
I am not as strong as I look... don't be fooled by the smile
I am barely as wise than you think... even when I read
My mistakes have proved that

Nauje kufahamu kwamba hamna kitu kigumu kama msahamaha...
Hata kama ni kwa nafsi binafsi
Vita vya raha na huzuni... mioto hunichoma mara kwa mara jamani
Labda ningekuwa mkristo nipate nguvu za kusahau pia...
Vipi uchungu wa miaka iliyopita bado kanyonga mpaka sasa
Hakuna kitu kibaya kama kumpenda mwingine
Kama unaona uongo.... basi hujaumia bado
Na usiwe mmoja wa wale soma na kunimwagia huruma
Kwani kila mtu anadoa... kila mtu huugua!

Bury my heart because my chest is ready to explode with the truth!
No you don't know me... you think you do
I didn't push you away because I wanted space
I just felt that you would judge me!
I must have been scared to tell you
Because to you... I am more than flesh
To you I am a force you want to recon with
Quite honestly... I am none of that
Sometimes I see myself as dust...
Life is funny
The loudest laugh many not means happiness
The sorrowful cry many never mean grief
Think twice before you judge
Forgiveness is not an option I have...
My heart burns just by the thought of it
And you know me darling!
Its not in me to pretend!
And yes I am fighting with self esteem!
And I cannot even forgive or apologize to myself, for being this way...
Funny how everything eventually changes... even change itself
And yes... nights have stolen my sleep
And days laugh at my sweat... and I know that life is like that
Si mapya hayo nimezoea shida... hata njaa hainitishi...
ni mapepo ya kujichukia yanayo nichokoza ubongo... nikama nimeshikiwa uchawi flani
So when I am silent it is not because I am too proud to talk... no
It is because I am too weak to know where, or how to start talking to you and feel that you really are listening
I have seen people carry phones to places of worship... what would make me think that they would have time for anyone?

They talk bad about junkies... but sometimes peace is found underneath a glass... a puff
moments of forgetting reality even for minutes
A little puff, a little drink... some sniff here and there
and the pain smiles at me...
Before I forget how to cover the scars... sweetheart
Bury my heart inside a prayer
I need to blow the dust find my crown and wear it




© Namatsi Lukoye

If I die today

When weird words come to you and you can only pray that it doesn't happen soon!!!

If I die today, shed no tear in grief
But find strength in the words of my poems
There,
There I will be waiting for you

If I die today, shed no tear in grief
But smile that the world gave me a chance to share memories with you
And I will miss your hugs, but find me in the warmth of your heart
There,
There I will be waiting for you

If I die today, Let me go to the forces that call on me
Wherever my body may go to rest, my spirit remains with you
Remember never to forget that I loved you with the power of the sun
And even death as scary as she sounds cannot stop this love

If I die today, I will be your rainbow
Flashing in the sky once in a while
And for those days that you will miss me terrible
Find me in the words of my poems
There,
There my love, I will always live
In the warmth of your heart
I promise you I will be

© Namatsi Lukoye

Panties drop!

Love makes the world spin...
but lust is the crazy part of this pen that makes it tick
And this crazy energy between the two of us frightens me
Chemistry so strong we got all equations balancing
Crazy physics how I am drawn to you... is there sideways gravity?
And I would fall into you even if it is for minutes
The kind of things you are planting in mind! am embarrassed to say
But I will try...

I dream of your skin against mine...
Drip at the thought of your warmth, your breath
That face that is blurred to the world...
How you hold me flimsy... like I would break if I drop
And I know you don't want to stop...
You got that touch confusing... exploring
so I let you mine some gold in the wells on my secrets... (tell me who is the gold-digger now)

Not scared but ever bold and hard just like Rihanna
Dance with me like we did at Harvana
As the music fells on our ears like manna
Fading into the sound of our beating hearts
Sound of us breathing... harmonies of our moans
Rock with me like the waves of the salty ocean crushing on the ships

Make me love me... every curve of my skin
Travel through me with kisses... every curve of my skin
Go on until the panties drop!
Paint it in swahili
Lugha mama alinifunza...
Nipe kidogo tu
Nikufungulie moyo boo
Nibebe kama mawingu juu
Nikupoteze kwa raha tu
Wewe.... wangu hata kama ni leo tu
Wazimu nijaze boo
Wawili tupae juu
Wait let me capture this...


© Namatsi Lukoye